Felix Culpa

by Family And Friends

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1.
Ouroboros 05:08
So we’re back to where we started Slow dancing in the garden Underneath the stars, just hoping in our hearts Maybe we’ll get it right this time A feeling I can’t explain it At least I think it’s complicated Saw the black clouds, heard the distant sounds, encroaching thunder Yes, I know our days are numbered And we’re not getting any younger In and out of focus (silence unspoken) If only for a moment (stillness in motion) Take note of the unnoticed Just to let go of the motive Stop and smell the roses As long as there’s life in my lungs, I can’t seem to separate you from the air I breathe Spoke the sounds just to find out what it really means This is everything, this is nothing, this is something in between Wake up, my love, rise with the sun Seeking the missing pieces of All that once was, what’s yet to come I know there must be a reason Some objective truth… Some semblance of hope or at least something to hold on to Wake Up, My Love I will fight the fear when that creature comes Feasting on our bones and blood There’s stardust, inside us We are echoes of the shadows where it all comes from Ghosts of what we’ll become This is everything there ever was
2.
Peaches 04:36
Feels we’re going nowhere Searching, never knowing Spinning right back to the place we started Oh, well if the spirit moves you Spitfire, shake, shiver, voodoo Shooting stars like dreams departed You’ve been following your heart just to disregard it Flashback, now the last thing that you said Suddenly seems the most important Rearrange your words like puzzle pieces in my head Grow up, trade age for wisdom Replace love with cynicism Like staring down the barrel of a loaded pistol Saying pain is fickle, this will only hurt a little I’ve been dreaming bout you, will the morning ever come? Fantasizing where the feeling frequents Don’t you know you’re always on my mind? I’ve been dreaming bout you, will the morning ever come? Fantasizing where the feeling frequents Don’t you know you’re always on my mind Gasoline to the spark, dream I wake up in your arms Never mind when we break we fall apart In matters of the heart old habits die hard Temptation to exercise my demons Memories of you now sweet as peaches Replaying in my head like a voice of reason “Don’t throw this all away for one moment of weakness” Always giving up, never give enough Give you all my love, never give enough An eye for an eye will only leave you broken hearted Ashes to ashes, they say dust to dust Till the sun burns out, till the stars combust I’m going to give you all my love, unconditional Live in your love, irresistible Lovesick, Lovechild, Lovesick, Lovechild, Don’t you know you’re always on my mind? (Fight the feeling, Fight the feeling, Fight the feeling, Fight the feeling) You don’t know what you’re missing (I’ve been dreaming bout you will the morning ever come) Been wishing on a wish (Fantasizing where the feeling frequents) You don’t know what you’re missing (Gasoline to the spark, dream I wake up in your arms) Been wishing on a wish (In matters of the heart old habits die hard)
3.
PRSM 04:43
Close the blinds, and lock the door You’re not welcome anymore Life is brief, and talk is cheap But it’s more than we can afford You say we’re wasting away our youth I say we could all use a little time Your mouth was asking for the truth, Your eyes were begging for a lie Nothing’s lost, but something’s missing Just an endless well to keep you wishing Try, I try, but I can’t make sense of it Held it to the light to find, I’m just another color in your prism I fear there’s a sickness in my head There’s a body in my bed A set of eyes in the window’s reflection But I don’t recognize them Try and fight it I can’t shake the shape of your tongue from my lips Fractures in the feelings feasting Keeping time, when nothing is now as it once was What’s left to lose? It feels we’re going backwards Blue skies and greener pastures It seems we’re chasing after Something that can’t be captured I think I’d rather like to believe We’re all just lost and lonesome Seeking our missing pieces, incomplete So beautifully broken Nothing’s lost but something’s missing Just an endless well to keep you wishing Try, I try, but I can’t make any sense of it Held it to the light to find, I’m just another color in your prism
4.
Sunsara 05:20
Our time here is brief and our bodies all borrowed Fleeting dream, here today and gone tomorrow Don’t mistake the time it takes A heart to bend before it breaks Your love endures like a passing wave It comes and goes but never stays Wanderlust, this modern love, Too hot to hold, never know what you’ve got Till the flame runs cold, till it’s gone And when you’re gone, thirst that taste that sinister sensation Sweet euphoria, I fear only for these beasts we’ve become Now we’re talking in circles, speaking in tongues Tear the stitch from the seam, till it all comes undone Make the meaning misconstrued Seeking only for the truth Don’t mistake the time it takes A heart to bend before it breaks Your love endures like a passing wave It comes and goes but never stays Wanderlust, this modern love, Too hot to hold, never know what you’ve got Till the flame runs cold, till it’s gone And when you’re gone, thirst that taste that sinister sensation Sweet euphoria, I fear only for these beasts we’ve become Got ‘em wounded like a moving target Time to finish what you started I need a reason to believe I did everything for nothing There must be something, something love I need a reason to believe I did everything for nothing There must be something, something love I need a reason to believe I did everything for nothing There must be something, so insidious I need a reason to believe I did everything for nothing There must be something, something, something
5.
Come now wanting do your worst In the wake of all that we once were Curse that crave that can’t be cured Yeah, you start the fire just to watch it burn You say it’s only love Like it’s not everything, like it’s not all there ever was All entangled in your limbs To steal the salt right from your skin Sealed my fate upon your lips But it’s not something I would recommend Put my flesh upon the flame just to feel it all again Oh I’ve been calling on your love Burning like a fire, thirsting for the flood Poison boiling in my blood Dancing with desire, I will take to your heart like a hunter to the hunt Calm before the storm Rushing river runs its course Crashing wave to shore Always coming back for more Love, there’s no mistaking idle talk for conversation I’ve got time to test my patience, I’ve got you to keep me waiting Rising fear, crashing like the shoreline breaking It’s becoming clear, there’s nothing here left worth saving You say it’s only love, Like it’s not everything, like it’s not all there ever was Oh I’ve been calling on your love Burning like the fire, thirsting for the flood Poison boiling in my blood Dancing with desire, I will take to your heart like a hunter to the hunt
6.
Underneath the covers we were lovers, now we’re hardly speaking Hours turn to days and weeks, summer falls like autumn leaves Your mind changes like the seasons, don’t mistake my will for weakness Drinking till the bottle’s empty, grown addicted to the treatment I’ve been dealing in demons I’ve been dealing in demons Are you sleeping? Are you dreaming? Caught up somewhere in between? Have you found another lover? Do you ever think of me? Tangled in between the sheets, wrapped up in the body’s heat Taste the tongue between your teeth, pressing on the flesh beneath Lonely for your love Lonely for that long lost touch And when you’re gone and all is lost I will do my best to miss this for the both of us Broke down broke in the breakdown lane Spent my last smoke on your flame So within you So without your love (Don’t abandon my love) Well consummate the consecration (Don’t abandon my love) I was standing in the front yard calling out your name, love (Don’t you walk away from this) At your silhouette in the streetlight soaking in that sundown rain (Don’t abandon my love) Revived the pulse, but we couldn’t save it (Don’t abandon me love) Suppose you were right this time, but no one’s blameless Wash it away It will all wash away
7.
I keep having this same dream again Falling in slow motion from a burning building Bracing for the ground beneath. Wake up in a cold sweat wondering, what this all means. Stale coffee and loose cigarettes Sentiments beneath the skin Keep rearranging, nothing ever really changes. Saved your voice on the machine, it’s nice to know you called. Days pass like lapping waves upon the shore, ebb and flow It’s the current in the undertow Hard to hold on, harder to let go This endeavor’s all I’ve ever known Oh emotions unspoken, buried below Out of sight and out of mind, Draw you near and hold you closer, squeeze a little tighter One day we’ll leave this all behind Tell the ones you love the most, constant reminders Don’t let the moment pass you by I know we’ll meet again my friend In the distance, who knows how soon? (A cold, wind blows) Another day under the sun, waste away our youth and young (Walking on hot coals) You left your taste upon my tongue, restless hearts, this reckless love (In the distance, it grows) Thunder and lightning, do you know what I mean? Oh I fear when that day comes, sinking like the setting sun, Returns the dirt and dust, who knows how soon? Oh emotions unspoken, We may never know what’s on the other side Draw you near and hold you closer, squeeze a little tighter One day we’ll leave this all behind Tell the ones you love the most, constant reminders Don’t let the moment pass you by
8.
Feeling lately, this house is not a home Planted seeds in the garden, now the weeds have overgrown It’s been weeks, babe, since we last spoke Empty bottles, and the ashtrays overflow Finding new ways to cope Haunted by your echoes Just keep trying to kill your ghost I keep catching my reflection restless from the outside When there’s no way left to win just fighting fortune not to lose I’m just trying to hold on to your love, hold on to your love In spite of my demons Trust is a patient heart A head full of doubt A whisper in the dark: We’re just going through the motions Fear festers in the pit of my gut Says if not now, I will never be good enough If not myself, who can I trust I am not what I’ve become Fear festers in the pit of my gut Says if not now I will never be what was If not myself, who can I trust I am not what I’ve become I’ve been waiting for, waiting for you Like a dream clings to some kind of truth You are saving me, saving me from myself And these doubts I can’t dispel, you know And though it hurts like hell, you know I only wish you well, you know I’m just trying to hold on to your love, hold on to your love In spite of my demons Trust is a patient heart, A head full of doubt, A whisper in the dark I’m just trying to hold on to your love, hold on to your love I’m just trying to hold on to your love, hold on to your love We’re just going through the motions
9.
Better Days 04:54
Wounded bird, born to fly I’m still nursing these wings, fighting the season’s change I kissed your cheek one last time Tried to hold on to this dream before I wake Who knows where we’ll be this time next year You moved away, a new career Nothing ever changes here Your love always remains (no matter how far) Wasted days and summer nights On your porch, stained teeth, glazed eyes Spare the glass, and pass the wine We’re making love to pass the time It’s just a different chapter of the same old story, When it’s good it’s good, when it rains it’s pouring Well it’s hard to make those good times last I’m still holding on to the past, that love we shared They say it comes too quick, it moves to fast I miss those signs of tenderness to show you care Darling, please pick up the phone You see I’m slurring my words, and I don’t want to be alone tonight Yeah, I’ve seen better days if I’m being honest But when I say I love you, that’s a promise I’m gonna be the man who loves you I’m gonna be the man who loves you I’m gonna be the man who loves you I’m gonna be the man who loves you Who knows where we’ll be this time next year A different state, a new career Nothing ever changes here Your love always remains (no matter how far) Wasted days and summer nights On your porch, stained teeth, glazed eyes Spare the glass, and pass the wine We’re making love to pass the time
10.
Oh this vision does me good Metamorphosis, changing my ways Trade conviction for youth Say, what’s it mean, what’s the purpose? We’re scratching the surface Return to the dawn of an earlier age Who am I, what’s my name? Does it even matter anyway? Oh this urge serves me well Compulsion, the universe contracts and folds in on itself Doe, wide-eyed disbelief Great divine mystery Elusive truth, disguised in the breeze Constantly changing, just to stay the same thing Winding roads (wandering these) Winding roads (seems all I’ve ever known) Winding roads (guide me home) Guide me home Well the weight of the lies gave way to the truth I don’t care where I’m going babe, as long as I’m going there with you Like a rolling stone These howling winds keep blowing Brother, rid your sorrows Every obstacle, each crossroad, Won’t get you where you’re going, babe But they’re going to get you where you need to go Wandering roads, these highways, each byway I find I’ve got nothing to lose Every road, leads me back to you Winding roads (wandering these) Lives we chose (Seems all I’ve ever known) This love we hold (in our hearts) Guide me home Take the long way home Stumbling through the streets While the city sleeps And the moon hangs low See the world through glazed eyes Slurred words and stage lights Won’t change come sunrise You’re still waking up alone I hear you calling And I’ll come running Chasing down every color under the sun Just to find those blue eyes Those lips like a fine wine Well I’d spend a lifetime living for your love See the weight of the lies gave way to the truth I don’t care where I’m going babe as long as I’m going there with you
11.
Shivers 04:53
Don’t waste, my time Making up your mind I’ve got a bad case of bad habits Burning like a box of matches Hole in my pocket Can’t lose it if you never had it Heartbreak, Hard to find Any truth in your lies Face to the pillow smothered This is what it means to suffer Lost your love this time last summer Still cold beneath the covers I still see you when I close my eyes After all this time, I can’t shake you from my mind Show me the way, the truth, lord lead me to the light I’m sorry, little darlin of mine Missing you helps pass the time These days that’s all it takes to get by It’s hard enough as it is just to burden the load These times have been taking their toll Might lose control on ya (All I do, I do for you) Just can’t let go of ya (All I do, I do for you) Skies of blue, running through Greener pastures in the back of my mind Just me and you, chasing after those better times I’ve got to get away, they say it gets better Well this shit ain't, getting any easier Spent all day, trying to change the weather Well, summoning a hurricane won’t stop a meteor Woke up, face down in the gutter Still drunk, broken as a motherfucker Wonder where our words go when left undiscovered Afraid of being alone, more afraid of one another I’m sorry, little darlin of mine Missing you helps pass the time These days that’s all it takes to get by It’s hard enough as it is just to burden the load These times have been taking their toll Might lose control on ya (All I do, I do for you) Just cant let go of ya (All I do, I do for you) Skies of blue, running through Greener pastures in the back of my mind Just us two, chasing after those better times
12.
Houndstooth 06:29
Riding the Wave Caught in the comedown Those city lights still burning bright in my head Chasing the crave Lost in that old sound Thinking about things I’ve been thinking about trying to forget Salt in my eyes Blood in my mouth Luck’s got a way of running out, it’ll kick a man while he’s down Been digging this grave For how many years now Hit rock bottom just keep shoveling the dirt from the ground Wondering Am I doing what I’m supposed to? Am I making the most of it? Is this the path I chose? Will I ever know it? What’s left of the cash Stashed in the glove box Loose change, dollar bills, cheap thrills, an expired id Pictures of you from that photo booth machine Well I don’t have much to my name, but I’ve got what I need When I lay my head down to sleep I’ve got you like a reason to dream Another night out on the road And you’re the reason to call home Waiting patient my whole life Well I found you, I found you, I found you Drinking down your love till the well runs dry Won’t let go, don’t know now, how to Running in circles, chasing our tails Moving pictures flicker on the back of my eyes Ain’t that funny, time Passes us by You can spend your whole life searching for something you may never find Waiting patient my whole life Well I found you, I found you, I found you Drinking down your love till the well runs dry Won’t let go, don’t know now, how to Won’t let go, don’t know now, how to Won’t let go, don’t know now, how to

credits

released June 8, 2018

Mike MacDonald – Vocals, Guitar, Keyboards
Tuna Fortuna - Bass
Ryan Houchens – Percussion, Vocals
JP McKenzie - Electric Guitar
Alejandro Rios - Percussion
Emily Braden - Vocals

Andrew Cleveland – Cello
Pete Hall – Trumpet
Maria Kindt - Viola
Matt Martin - Background vocals
Chick Wolverton – Additional percussion

Produced, Recorded, & Mixed by Brad Wood
Additional Production & Engineering by Matt Martin

Recorded at Seagrass Studio, Sphere Studios, & Chase Park Transduction

Mastered by Emily Lazar at The Lodge, NYC
Assisted by Chris Allgood

Artwork by Fran Rodriguez

All songs written by Mike MacDonald and arranged and performed by Family And Friends

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